If you know me, you know I am definitely an animal lover and I adore my dogs Rusty and BamBam more than you can imagine. I got Rusty 6 years ago. When he was just a year old, I moved into a new house and felt bad that Rusty was home alone all day. In the search for a brother for Rusty, I found BamBam.
BamBam is a westie/cairn mix and cute as can be with a little bit of attitude. According to our paperwork, BamBam is 9. When I got him, he was 4. He began his life living in Boston. He was taken away from his family there due to abuse. He went through several rescues. Several times he was suppose to be put down when another rescue would find him at the last minute. When I found BamBam he was living with a foster family in Naperville. I adopted him through the Westie Rescue of Missouri.
BamBam came home with me to meet his new brother Rusty. Rusty was not too happy at first to share his territory or his mom, but after time they became best buds - laying on top of the couch together, looking out the window or playing together with toys or romping around the yard together.
BamBam has now been with me for about 5 years. Through this 5 years he has hit a lot of medical issues. His original family didn't take very good care of him, so he was always on the defense with a lot of energy and usually pacing the floor when there wasn't anything going on. He has had his fair share of medical problems, but this past year has been especially tough.
In the summer of 2008, he had surgery to remove three lipomas on his chest and a complete dental cleaning. We learned at the time of this surgery that BamBam had an enlarged heart and a very significant murmur. In September of 2008, BamBam went on heart medication and we were told he would need to take it for the rest of his life.
Things were going fairly well until about 10 days ago when he appeared to be in pain, shaking and not wanting to eat. After a trip to the vet and some x-rays we learned that he had kidney stones and an infection which had been caused by the stones. He had to go on antibiotics, and kidney medicine. The following week was awful. He lost his appetite, became sick with everything he was eating and couldn't go to the bathroom. We were worried that the end was near. For an 11 pound dog, it isn't easy taking 7 different medications each day.
On Friday night, our vet met with us to give him some fluids and take some xrays. On Saturday, a series of x rays were taken after giving him some fluids that were visible on the xrays. Not seeing any issues with his digestive system, the vet ran more blood tests. As it turns out, his kidney values (which shouldn't be higher than 1.0) had elevated to 3.9 and his BUN (blood urea nitrate) (which shouldn't be higher than 25) was at 189. Clearly the medication had done a number on his kidneys. Having a BUN that high means that there is a lot of urea in his bloodstream. This means that his blood is more acidic than it should be which results in a lot of nauciousness.
I asked if we needed to make the decision to put him down. The vet said we didn't need to do that yet and that she felt like we would have some success in making him feel better and giving him some more time if we could do some additional fluid treatments to flush his kidneys and cut way back on his medicines. Our vet has been a saint, meeting with us twice on Saturday and twice on Sunday to administer fluids and give him shots. Unfortunately, even with this, it is likely he only has a couple weeks to a couple of months at the very most before his kidneys will shut down and he will be leaving us.
It has been so hard to look at him and know that in a short time he won't be here anymore. I have never had to make the decision to put an animal down. I haven't lost anyone close to me either. My grandfaher passed away when I was 5 and my great grandmother passed when I was in college. Other than that, I have been fortunate to not have to deal with loss. I always knew it would happen someday, but as the day gets closer and closer it makes me very sad.
While BamBam is feeling better now, he is eating, has more energy, and occassionally wags his tail, there is nothing that can be done for kidney failure other than a transplant. While transplants are becoming more common in dogs, BamBam is not a good candidate for one due to his enlarged heart. (I have pet insurance and if there was a good chance he would survive a transplant and do well, I would probably go forward with it.) Dogs like BamBam should live to be at least 15.
It is nice knowing that we can spend his last days with him and that we didn't have to put him down right then and there on Friday night. Still though, it hurts thinking about how much I will miss him.
BamBam has been my little shadow from day one. He follows me everywhere, sits on my lap when I watch tv, and loves going for walks. He sits outside my office door with either his tail or paw reaching under the door while I am working. I always know he is right there. He jumps up and down to get treats and barks with excitement when he sees other dogs walking outside. When I am sad he lays next to me. He is big on giving hugs and just melts my heart. People without dogs can't understand the unconditional love that a person gets from their pet, but that is exactly what it is. No matter how I look, act, feel, sound, smell, etc. BamBam always loves me. Whether I lose my job, go bankrupt, or hit the lotto, he loves me just because I am me.
I don't really know (or care to know) what the church says about animals going to heaven, but I believe that there must be a special place for dogs to go when they leave us. I hope someday I will see BamBam in heaven. I am glad that I have been able to make the last 5 years of his life happy and wonderful. I only wish I could have adopted him sooner or that I would have more time with him.
I don't know what else to do for now, but to spend time with him, enjoy being with him, and to make sure he knows how much he is loved and cared for. While it will be very hard on me, I will be there with him every step of the way until he passes on. Life, ALL life, really is a precious gift from God, and I am so thankful that I have been able to share the last 5 years of my life with Bam. He will be missed by all of us here.
Dennis at 6 months old - December 1977
Dennis at 2 years old - June 1979 (long before I was even thought of! hehe!)
Dennis at 3 years old - June 1980
Dennis at 4 years old - June 1981 (yay! I am now 4 months old at this point!) When my mother in law showed me this picture, I told her how much I love the outfit he is wearing (I really do!) and asked her if she still had it. She told me that this was actually his favorite outfit when he was a kid and that he wanted to wear it nearly every day. Look at that straight blonde hair! It's kind of funny to realize he has so many red curls now, but he definitely has that same smile!
Dennis around age 6 or 7? Not sure of the date on this one. Look at those freckles! What a cutie!
