It was time for a change...

It was time for a change, in more ways than one. I hope you enjoy the new format of my Smithtacular, Smithsational, and Smithriffic blog (Look when your last name is "Smith" you have to be creative!) After nearly two years I was getting a little sick of the dark blue and all of the dots and thought I would switch things up a little.

Speaking of changes, I can now address the stress I was dealing with from last week. I resigned from my job at Canton Street last Monday (1/7/08) but it wasn't exactly "cut and dry." It was a hard decision for me to make. It was something I wanted to do for sure. I should say it was something WE wanted to do for sure, as my husband was very intimately involved in making this decision with me. I have always wanted to start my own business - for a lot of reasons.

I am supremely organized and detail oriented and good with managing my time and effort. I like doing my own thing and not having to conform to rules or schedules.
At the age of 27 (almost) I know I have a LOT to learn about the "real" world, but I have found that I have a lot of good ideas and I like to run with them without being shot down by a supervisor or boss.
I don't like conference calls, and I don't like wasting my time trying to motivate unmotivatable people.
In terms of a schedule I want to be able to get up in the morning and work out before I start my day.
As we look forward to starting our own family in the future I want to be there for my kids. I realize that I will need to take them to day care or to a babysitter while I do work but I want to know that I can be there for them with a moment's notice or take the day off without first notifying my employer.
I want to be able to pack up with my husband and hit the road for a long relaxing weekend without getting a guilt trip when I return or a million cell phone calls while I am gone.
I may work 10 hours one week and 80 the next and I want that to be OK.
I want to take on a new challenge - a new endeavor. I want to prove to myself that I am smart enough and disciplined enough to "take care of myself" and to make something happen through pure self motivation and hard work. I want to prove to everyone else that I can do this too.

Maybe those reasons sound selfish. I am sure that some of them do. And I would never ask nor expect any employer to be that lenient with an employee. So the only way to get what I want is to go out and do it for myself.

I am fortunate in that I have a wonderful husband who is willing to support me 100% in this endeavor. We have talked about the consequences, the start up expenses involved, the risk in it not working out, and he is willing to back me up 100%. He believes in me which really helps me to believe in myself. Besides his support I have received an overwhelming amount of support from my family and friends and for that I am extremely grateful.

Let me get back to the part about the decision being difficult and the week being stressful.

Working for Canton Street for the past 2 years (almost) I spent my time working from a home office but communicating daily with some wonderful people in the company's main office in GA. I've been to GA many times during this time and have really enjoyed the opportunity to get to know these guys. I care for them genuinely and sincerely and it was hard for me to let those relationships go. Working from home, I don't pass coworkers in the hall and the extent of personal face to face contact in my daily life involves my trip to the post office each day to pick up the mail and chat with people there. On occassion I see doctors, dentists, grocers, and retailers. Most people though have some sort of relationship with their coworkers. I feel lucky to have remained friends with my former coworkers from the Myers Group. But on a day to day basis, these guys at Canton Street were it for me. I knew that in leaving, there would likely be hurt feelings and in order to move on and start my own business I would have to give up these close friendships.

When I made the phone call on Monday to resign, it was difficult for me and I was left in tears. My boss seemed at first upset, then surprised/confused, and then unhappy. On Tuesday he called again to talk and attempted to keep me on board. As hard as it was I stood my ground letting him know again that it was not personal, just something I needed to do. The end of the conversation was much more difficult as I was threatened with potential lawsuits and the promise of making the next 6 months of my life miserable. On Wednesday I was again asked to give it a chance to stay or to at least give 6 months notice. On Thursday I spoke with another coworker who had been out of town and had to go through all of this again. Each night Dennis and I talked about it and tried to decide if we were really and truly doing the right thing. By Friday my resignation was finalized in a friendly conversation with one of my coworkers.

I feel like we did the right thing. While I care for the people I worked with there were things going on that I was uncomfortable with and other things that didn't seem fair. In addition my salary was eliminated and I was working on straight commission. It didn't financially make sense to continue to get only a percentage of my work when I had absolutely no other benefits through the company. And if there is one thing I have learned through being a recruiter, once you actually resign from somewhere, you don't want to accept a counteroffer and stay on board. Things will not be the same and it is likely that within a few months you will be in the same boat again.

I honestly and truly wish Canton Street all the best. I know it's going to be hard for me to start over again from square one - but hopefully this will be the LAST time I have to start over. It will likely take me a few months to really have things in order and ready to go, but we are prepared to invest that time for what we believe will be a significant payoff in both financial means as well as a better quality of life.

Wish us luck!